What makes one happy vs. what makes one successful?

Its been awhile since I wrote anything on this online journal and I think its time I start writing again. This past semester, my last semester in university, as been very self revealing. I learned more about what's important to me and the potential that I have when I really put my mind to something. I'm rather proud of my thesis paper I wrote... I titled it "Global Civil Society and its Effect on Non-Governmental Organizations" and of course the visuals I created for my fourth year seminar class on Strategic Communications for a campaign for child poverty in Kitchener Waterloo. I loved doing it.... what's more both of these things made me happy.

I'm on the job hunt now. I was hoping to get a job before I ended university but I guess things don't always go the way I want them to. I'm a candidate for BBDO as an account coordinator for Mercedes Benz and for Johnson&Johnson and Wrigley's. I am also up for a job in Ottawa as a strategic planner/account manager for a strategic graphic design firm H3Creative. I'm currently volunteering my time at UNAC (the United Nations Assoc. of Canada) as the Chief of Staff and the Chargee d'Affair for the CANIMUN (Canadian International Model United Nations Conference) which is happening in March. I love my job at CANIMUN because it combines what I'm good at (aka. managing people and events) and my belief that perhaps I'm not the best person to enter ground work for the UN however, I can encourage those young people who do have the guts and the power to do such things to go out and do them. There are so many students out there that want to help, but have no idea how to get involved. This is my chance to help and to get them involved.

Which brings us back to the title of this blog which is happy vs. successful. Does success breed happiness? Of course! Perhaps not the center of all happiness however, it does bring us joy to know we did a good job. However, I also think success is a green eyed monster. Success to those who define it as not only doing well at their job but as being famous, well known, looked up to, to achieve attention... that kind of success may be detrimental at the end. What if I want to be happy and successful in life? I want to be able to define success as me being happy. I want a job that makes me happy. Will advertising for Mercs or J&J make me happy? I'm not so sure. These are both prestigious positions at a very well known advertising firm however whom am I helping? Whom is benefiting from my work? The consumer? (The consumer that purchase goods to only waste more precious resources we don't have?) The corporation? (The corporation that only cares about the bottom line? The corporation that cares very little about how the goods are made but they are made cheaply to be sold cheap to people in wealthier countries?). I am a UNAC volunteer, I was the head delegate of my UN team at school, I wrote papers about NGO reconstruction, about elimination of child poverty, about humanitarian photography exhibitions that tell a story. By taking those jobs these.. prestigious, glamour jobs, am I losing myself and what I believe in? I know I don't seek to be rich though I don't want to be thinking about money either. I don't need a mansion and a pretty car. I don't need the newest and best electronic devices. What makes me smile is not my job, I am not my job, I am what I believe in. I think what I"m trying to say is that my heart is torn between alluring prestige and honest contributing work that would better this world. There are not many people who would join the UN, who believe in a better government, who believe that this world can be better if we try. Given the chance to make millions of dollars vs. helping someone, its easy to see how people would choose personal gain.

I was watching the constant gardener tonight for the 2nd time with my mother and I was just thinking there is this scene where there is a woman, a child and a man and they are walking back from the city where they had just gone to see the doctor. It will take them the entire day to walk home. A couple was in a jeep driving and the woman asks the man to pull over and to pick up these unfortunate people.
Man Says: "We can't afford to involve ourselves in their lives Tessa"
Tessa asks "Why?"
Man says "Be reasonable, there are millions of people, they all need help. Its what the agencies are here for"
Tessa says "Yeah, but these are three people WE can help".

I'm not out to help everyone and everything and try to bring world peace. But at least, in my life on this green earth I call home, I'd like to see it just a little better. To know I did my part to help someone else would make me feel accomplished. So perhaps the answer seems clear. Why work for Mercs when I could work for a small advertising form generating community messages. To plan galas to fund raise money to help those who cannot help themselves? I know I gotta help myself before others, but if I have a job, then I can start to think of ways to help others. Perhaps working for H3 would be better as I would get to do a lot more. I won't rip my soul apart trying to find ways to repair the damage I've done working for multi million dollar corporations only to gain mlllions of more dollars to pollute the air.

It does seem stupid that I have to think over this decision. But I want prestige but not if the cost is that high I think.

A song by Yael Naim - New Soul
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate? Try to communicate finding just that love is not always easy to make.

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end cause' you don't understand everything you have done why's everything so wrong

this is a happy end come and give me your hand I'll take your far away.

Cheers,
A.